Q&A with Graham Fletcher

Graham Fletcher, all most raising a smile


Q1. How long have you been a Totty player and who else have you played for?

In my fourth year, I think.
East Levenshulme approx 12 years,
Unsworth approx 8 years,
Rawtenstall approx 6 years. (ed. some years clocked up there then!)

Q2. Best bowling performance for the saints?

Last weeks (ed Chew Moor Brook match) 5 for 15 probably, although I have bowled beautifully, for little reward on many occasions. (ed. understateded and modest as ever)

Q3. Best batting performance for the saints?

Not sure, a few 30's and 40's....some not out! (ed. dont remember many 40's for Totty... must thinking of previous career, he's old and the memories not what it once was.)

Q4. Favourite ground in the NMCL and why?

Woodbank: Good playing surface, excellent facilities and near!

Q5. Least favourite ground in the NMCL and why?

Westleigh: Distance and surroundings, Blackpool sands retiree donkies.

Q6. Funniest thing you have seen on the cricket pitch?

A player at East Lev was fielding at mid-off, then his rather large penis, dick to you dropped through the hole in his pants gusset. This is as the bowler was approching his delivery stride. The batsmans jaw dropped at the same time as mid-off's bell end. The bowler screached to a halt and somebody shouted "can this be classed as intimidation" (ed. trust the old man to have a story little that)

Q7. Goals and expectations for the season, what are they?

To get my first hundred ever and possiblily win another game. I have the silliest hopes sometimes. (ed. well you never know whats around the corner)

Q8. Is there a date when you plan to retire or are you going to be playing when you recieve your telegram from the Queen?

I retired 13 years ago, enough said.

Q9. Do you find that shouting derogatory comments back to the bowler after a poor delivery (and the bowler knows that it was a bad ball by the fact that the ball is now inthe lodge) to be helpful?

Yes , it's my pull your f**king finger out type approch, you are letting the side down. Severe, yes but honest. (ed. I always found it to be a great help you old miserable moaning git, severe, yes but honest)

Q10. What is it like to field in the slip cordan with Mike Jones and Stu Hunter, as there is constant chatter of various degrees of positivity emanating from there?

Their 'mamby-panby' method of praising our bowlers effort when they are actually losing us the game or saying 'hard luck old chap' when fielders drop yet another catch or diving over the ball is sickening. It is obvious that the best treatment is a sharpe kick in the groin!!! (ed. whoever said cricket is an team game played by individuals may have been thinking about the old man at the time. If you ever get praise from him, treasure it! It might not come again for a long time....if ever!)